The Number One Skill Leaders & Managers Need To Develop

I know a host of managers that will roll their eyes at this or find it “too fluffy” or “woo woo” for them to comprehend. Which goes on to illustrate their limit in mindset – as what they just expressed was an ‘Emotion’.

Far too many managers and leaders are put into senior roles for their high IQ (General Intelligence), where in fact it is their EQ [Emotional Quotient) that plays a larger part in success.

In simple terms emotional intelligence is the awareness, understanding and expressing of our emotions, and being empathetic when communicating with others.

Emotional Intelligence is not a soft skill - for those who want to lead at work, but also in their personal live realise and know that it is the strongest skill to attain.

Evolved organisations and leaders recognise how important it is to understand and manage emotions – either their own or of others around them.

To not only navigate through VUCA times [See previous article/post] but also thrive in the aftermath it is THE need to know skill set. The times that we are in now require it more and more, to lead with the best version of themselves and communicate effectively.

Leaders who have developed EQ are easily identifiable compared to those that dictate from a place of blinded control as they are able to relay true leadership in terms of inspiring, connecting and motivating others to do what is being asked.

Those that do not understand how to read and manage emotions and follow outdated methods will lead ineffectively longer term.

More importantly, if a leader is not aware of their OWN emotions first and know what is really going on inside, how to observe and then how to act – then leading someone else isn’t possible.

The good news is that EQ is not fixed and can be developed and honed over time with the right attention paid to it.

Here are my top 4 practises in increasing EQ:

1) Observing How You Feel – You cannot improve something you do not know about. In the process of rushing from one commitment to the next, meeting deadlines, and responding to external demands, many of us lose touch with our emotions. When we do this, we’re far more likely to act unconsciously, and we miss out on the valuable information that our emotions contain.

At regular occasions through the day take a deep breath and notice what emotion you have or are feeling and where In the body you are noticing it.

2) Attention To Your Behaviour – Awareness is the light to uncovering in what way you behave from the trigger of an emotion coming up inside you. Take stock of this, ideally without judging and assess if the trigger that has set of the behaviour.

3) Respond Vs React - There’s a subtle but important difference between responding and reacting.

Reacting is an unconscious process where we experience an emotional trigger, and behave in an unconscious way that expresses or relieves that emotion (for example, feeling irritated and snapping at the person who has just interrupted you).

Responding is a conscious process that involves noticing how you feel, then deciding how you want to behave (for example, feeling irritated, explaining to the person how you feel, why this isn’t a good time to be interrupting you, and when would be better).

The power comes from knowing that you can choose what and the way you act – some go through life sleep walking.

4) Recognise emotions in others - Developing emotional intelligence should ultimately be to foster healthier relationships in your life. You do this by connecting and empathising with others.

For further details, feel free to get in touch.